Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
