Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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