This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
