wat bout pragnant strippers??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
