While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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