im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
