I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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