I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
