A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
