my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
