he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
