I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
