so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
