and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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