dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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