He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You have to summon your inner elephant
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
