things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
