Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
