AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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