they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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