Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
