Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
