Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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