It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
