You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
