Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
