the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
