I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think people are normalizing furries
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
