Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize