Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
