i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
