I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
