Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize