remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
God, I missed his penis.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
