Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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