And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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