you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
