Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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