oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
