By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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