What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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