i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
