My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
