Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
