sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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