I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
