you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize