So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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