pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
