Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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