I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
