WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
