Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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