i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your penis caused this!
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