Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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