I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
