im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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