yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
