I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
