don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You're like the curious george of whores
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
