Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
