Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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