i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
