She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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