I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize