in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
