handjob tips. give me some.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So vagazzling was a success
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