we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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