have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
