i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
